


Too Much In Love

by Sashataakheru



Category: David Bowie (Musician), Electric Light Orchestra, The Chaser, The Move, Xanadu (1980)
Genre: Community: au_bingo, Multi, alternate universe: gods and goddesses, alternate universe: greek mythology, university-era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-19
Updated: 2011-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-14 21:26:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set 1995. You know how <i>Xanadu</i> was all sparkly and crazy and had a happy ending? This isn't that story. Andrew Hansen, struggling with his university work, and the pressure of trying to write his own original music when everyone else wants comedy songs, is on the verge of giving up when a reluctant muse comes along to keep him going, throwing him into a world full of gods and muses who are more human than he had expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Includes David Bowie as Hermes and Ace Kefford as Apollo.
> 
> Written for the prompt 'Fantasy and Supernatural: Gods and Goddesses' for AU bingo. My card is [here](http://3evilmuses.dreamwidth.org/13317.html).

Andrew set his guitar down and rubbed his temples. He'd been at it for days trying to get this song finished, but it just wasn't coming together. He picked up the notepad and looked at the lyrics he'd written again. Half of them were scribbled out and the chord notations becoming chaotic and nonsensical as he kept changing his mind as to how the song should sound.

He'd thought it'd be easy, writing enough songs for an album of his own, but he'd suddenly found all his inspiration drying up. Why was it he could write comedy songs til the cows come home, but he couldn't write an original song – a proper song - for himself no matter how hard he tried? Perhaps he was never meant to be a rock star.

He got up to stretch his legs and wandered over to the window. It was a perfectly fine day outside, a lovely spring day, and yet, it was hardly promising, given how little he'd achieved. Thinking it was time to give up, he kicked the notebook under the sofa and put his guitar away. What he needed was to get out of the house. That might help.

* * *

Jeff didn't want to go. He was always leaving, flitting in and out of people's lives as if he didn't even care. But he did care. He sometimes thought he cared too much. He'd never been able to articulate just how much it hurt. It wasn't supposed to hurt, they weren't supposed to get personal, but Jeff couldn't help it. He liked humans, liked helping them create new and wonderful things. But he always had to leave them in the end. Sure, being a muse was his job, but he sometimes thought he had the worst job in the world.

He looked at the next one on his list, a young Australian kid called Andrew. The photo that came with it showed a scrawny little kid with a bad haircut. He appeared to be in his early 20s, and his smile was lopsided but almost adorable. Still, Jeff noticed his eyes were not as happy as he appeared. Poor kid. The last thing he needed was Jeff barging into his life to help him out, only to leave him behind when he wasn't in the best state of mind to cope with it.

The Heavens were surprisingly empty. Most of the other muses were off doing their thing. Jeff was always the last to leave. He had grown more reluctant to continue his work the older he got. Centuries had passed and he had broken far too many hearts along the way, along with his own. So many of them, so many wonderful, brilliant minds, and so many he had had to leave behind.

He didn't look up as Bev approached and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He stared at the picture of Andrew again and wished he could die like the people below. They had death to end their torments. For Jeff, it never ended. He remembered everything, and that just made it worse.

“I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. Look at the poor lad. How can I inflict pain on him? He's just a kid. An innocent kid. Don't seem right at all,” Jeff murmured.

“It's our job, Jeff. It's what we do,” Bev offered, though he knew it wouldn't help at all.

“He's depressed, Bev. That makes a difference. Leaving him might be the worst thing for him. If he dies-”

Jeff didn't finish that sentence aloud and gazed off into the distance. If he dies, at least his suffering will end.

“Well, do you want me to take him, then, if this is bothering you so much? You can head off to Nebraska to a girl named Samantha if you want,” Bev said.

“No, no, I'll do it. If anyone's going to handle him, it'll be me. I think we'll get on far too well. I don't want you bastards charging in and screwing him up,” Jeff said.

“Well, it's your choice, but don't blame me if it hurts again,” Bev said.

Jeff looked over his shoulder as there was a flash of yellow light and Bev vanished. Jeff scrunched up the piece of paper in his hand. He took a moment to calm his mind before he disappeared in a flash of golden light.

* * *

Andrew was sitting on the lawn in the quad, hoping the sun would cheer him up and give him some inspiration. He was waiting for Charles. They had planned to go to lunch together. Charles insisted, if only to get him out of the house. Andrew welcomed the distraction from trying to write songs, which itself was a distraction from finishing his studies. There were times when he chastised himself for picking something so useless as an English degree, but he felt it was probably the only thing he would ever be any good at bar music, and it wasn’t so bad, not really, but he was hardly going to find a job at the end of it, not like his friends who were studying law.

Andrew aimlessly scribbled in a small notepad as people passed by around him. He didn't even know he had company until a shadow fell over him. He looked up and saw someone standing in front of him, but the glare from the sun and the shadow obscured his face. Andrew stood to see who it was. Before he could speak, the man leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek.

“I-uh. Um. Who are you?” Andrew managed to say.

Jeff said nothing, and left as quickly as he’d appeared, disappearing into the shadow of the buildings. Andrew stared after him, a hand touching the spot where he'd kissed him. Charles arrived a few minutes later, clapping him across the back as he came to stand beside him.

“You alright?” Charles said.

Andrew turned to face him. “This guy just, well, kissed me. Out of nowhere, he comes up and kisses me on the cheek. Then he walks off again.”

“Huh. Maybe he's some secret admirer or something. Did you recognise him?”

“Not really. Had the sun in my eyes, made it hard to see his face. He had these dark glasses on...” Andrew trailed off, wondering who on earth he had just met. Would he ever see him again? He had no idea.

“Well, I'd wager there are worse things to happen to you. I mean, it was just a kiss, right?” Charles said.

Andrew had to agree. “Yeah, it was just a kiss.”

“Well, then, let's go to lunch. I'm famished. You can tell me all about this mysterious stranger then.”

Andrew looked back over his shoulder as he left with Charles, hoping to get a glimpse of him. He didn't see anyone but students, and pushed it out of his mind. He was rather hungry, now that he thought about it. He smiled as Charles wrapped an arm around his waist and led him off.

* * *

Jeff couldn't hear their conversation, but he was watching them. He wanted to know how he'd react; Jeff hadn't dared a proper kiss out in public like that with him, human society still didn’t accept same-sex attraction after all this time and Jeff would never understand why, but a kiss of some sort was, sadly, still required. He had long forgotten the reason. It was just how things were done and it had become so ingrained into their practice there was no point in changing it now.

He didn't want to do this. Not this kid. Seeing Andrew up close, no, it was not going to end well. The fragility of his mind was far too easy to sense. Maybe in a few years, maybe then he might be able to cope, but not now. His wounds were still too fresh.

But it was too late now. A kiss can't be taken back. Jeff could already feel his heart aching from the fallout that was yet to come. Wound after wound, there was no escape from his torment.

“This is definitely the last one. I'll hide here on earth if I must, become a mortal like Roy, but I am not doing this anymore. It hurts too much,” Jeff decided.

He didn't look back as he left.

* * *

A week later, Andrew had forgotten the incident. There were too many other things on his mind, and he had at least had one victory on the song-writing front. The song he'd had so much trouble with had finally come together. Nothing else had gone right, but at least he had one song to his name. It was a pretty good song too, from Charles’ reaction, and he couldn’t wait to play it to some of his muso friends to see if they liked it just as much.

He woke that morning feeling almost positive. Not so optimistic he might burst with happiness, but pleasantly happy. He could almost feel the dark fog beginning to recede from his mind, though he was sure it was only a temporary thing. It would be back soon enough. It always came back.

As surprising as this was, however, it was not nearly as surprising as the large parcel that was waiting for him on his doorstep. He had not been expecting any parcels, but he took it inside anyway, just to see what it was. It proved to be quite heavy indeed, and it had taken all his strength to carry it. He set it on his dining table and looked it over. It was in a boring unmarked brown cardboard box. There were no brand names or markings or anything to suggest where it had come from. The address had been handwritten in black texta. However, there were no mailing labels or stamps, or even a courier's invoice, so there was no way of telling where it had come from. Perhaps it had been hand-delivered. It was securely wrapped with packing tape, as if the sender did not want its contents spilling out and getting damaged.

Fetching a pair of scissors, Andrew began cutting the tape free so he could get it open. He couldn't imagine what someone would send him that was also that heavy. Unless it was books, though why would anyone want to send him books? Why would anyone want to send him any sort of surprise present at all? Well, Charles might, but he'd have hinted that something was coming so he could enjoy his reaction when it arrived. It was little things like that, little things that made Andrew happy, that made Andrew love him as much as he did.

What was inside that parcel was not what he was expecting at all. There were a bunch of vinyl records and an actual record player. There was a note sitting in an envelope on top of the records.

“Thought you might enjoy these, J.”

That was all it said. Andrew didn't recognise the handwriting. It was a small, neat cursive script, though a rather pretty one when Andrew looked at it again.

“Who the fuck is J? And why is he-she-they sending me records?” Andrew mused as he looked at the records. There were in pristine condition, still wrapped in protective sheaths made from thick clear plastic, and all seemed to be by the same band. “Who the fuck are Electric Light Orchestra? Nice spaceship though.”

He set the records aside and lifted the record player out carefully. He looked around for somewhere to put it. He was always short of power points and he didn't even have room for a proper stereo system. He set it on the ground near the television, stealing one of the power points so he could plug the record player in. There was only one power cable, which seemed a bit odd. He had a vague memory of them having more cables that needed plugging in. Would the damn thing even work, or would he have to forget about it until he had the time and money to go and buy what he needed instead? He felt a little out of his depth. He had never had a record player before. His father had one, but Andrew was never allowed to touch it and all he remembered his father playing were boring old orchestral recordings.

The record player looked at least 20 years old. It was a large boxy thing, with fake wood trim and that smell that all old technology has. Picking the first record for no other reason than the fact it was on top of the pile, he set it playing as he lay in front of it, watching it spinning around on the turntable.

Andrew was surprised it worked. Not only did it not jump, it didn't appear to need an amplifier, though when he looked for speakers he could find none anywhere. No, there was that little crackle at the beginning and then the music began. Andrew was astounded by what he heard. He could hear echoes of The Beatles in amongst it all. And yet, it seemed to be something entirely different. He gazed at the album art, peering at it as he studied it in as close a detail as he could, nose pinned against it.

* * *

Jeff watched him, concealed from view. He knew what was to come next and what he would have to do. He could feel the creative spirit stirring inside Andrew as he listened to his music. It was working. The spindrels of fate were being woven together and there was nothing to stop it. Jeff was about to leave when Bev turned up again, leaning against the wall beside him.

“Wow. It's been a while since I heard that. How's he doing anyway?” Bev said.

“It's worse than I thought. His mind's too fragile. This will break him, I'm sure of it, but there’s nothing else I can do. I can't stop it now. I warned them. I told them it was too soon, but no one listens to me anymore. No, this will all end in disaster and it will all be my fault. What am I supposed to do? We're supposed to help these people, not destroy them,” Jeff said, kicking at the ground morosely.

“You sure you're not just being melodramatic? Seems happy enough to me,” Bev said, peering in at Andrew as he lay on the floor, listening to the records with a big smile on his face.

“Come on, I'll show you what I mean,” Jeff said.

Taking Bev's hand, they entered the house and watched Andrew from the doorway. Keeping themselves as hidden as possible, they were in a better position to observe him. Jeff cringed as he felt Andrew's pain all over again.

“It hurts to be around him. He's as wounded as me,” Jeff murmured.

“Geez, you were right about him. He doesn't feel ready at all. Good luck sorting this mess out,” Bev said, patting him on the shoulder.

Jeff took a deep breath. “I think I'm gonna need your help. I don't know if I can do this on my own.”

“Sorry, it's out of my hands. I've got my own to deal with. You could always try Roy. He might help you out. I know he's not one of us anymore, but you never know,” Bev said, knowing the kind of reaction that suggestion would get.

Jeff turned away from him. “I just-... I can't, we're- It just-”

Bev wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his temple. “You still haven't talked to him in all these years, have you? Don't you think it's time you did? That might cure you of your heartache.”

Jeff brushed him off. “Y’don’t understand. I can't just turn up and see him again. It's more difficult than that. You don't even know what happened back then, so don't try and pretend you understand it because you don't.”

“Oh, come on, don't do this to me. I'm one of the only people who still talks to you so don't pull this shit on me now. Unlike you, I've seen him since you left him. He could do with some closure just as much as you do,” Bev said.

“The only closure I need is to know why there are now two guys standing in my kitchen who weren't there a moment ago,” Andrew said, appearing behind them as he'd heard them talking.

Bev and Jeff turned around. Jeff looked a little sheepish. It was too soon for them to meet. What was he supposed to do now?

“Well, go on, introduce yourself. You're the one who sent him those things,” Bev said, shoving Jeff towards him.

“Uh, hi, I’m Jeff. You're Andrew, right?” Jeff said, offering his hand.

Andrew looked at him. He wasn't sure he knew who he was, nor the man beside him. “Jeff, hey? Wait. You kissed me. That was you, wasn't it? Why'd you do that?”

“Dunno. Thought you looked a bit sad, that's all.” Jeff wanted to disappear and pretend none of this was happening.

“So where'd your friend go then?” Andrew said, noticing Bev had vanished.

Jeff turned and discovered he was alone with Andrew. “Bastard. Uhhh, he probably had somewhere else to be. I should probably go as well, y'know, since I barged in and all.”

Andrew took his arm. “Oh, no, you're not leaving me now. Did you really send me those records? Why'd you do that?”

Jeff relented and let Andrew bring him back into the lounge. He had no idea how to answer him. He couldn't just tell him the truth, that would hurt too much, but he hadn't particularly taken the time to think of a cover story yet either, so his mind was unhelpfully blank. They sat down by the record player and Andrew picked up one of the records, gazing at the cover again. Neither spoke as Andrew gathered his thoughts.

“That's you, isn't it? I mean, you're Jeff Lynne, aren't you? This is all your music. Why? Why are you here? Why are you sitting in my lounge room right now?” Andrew said slowly, realising the man's identity.

Jeff reached over and took his hands. Contact opened him up to all the pain Andrew hid away and it burned into him. Jeff met his gaze and then all he wanted to do was hug him tight and never let him go until he was okay again.

“I'm here because you need me. That's all I can tell you right now,” Jeff said eventually.

Andrew fell silent. A thousand questions flooded his mind. “What on earth would I need you for?” he said, unsure what else to ask.

Jeff got to his feet and walked away from him. If the truth would hurt him, lying to him would only make it worse. But being honest was against the rules. He wasn't supposed to tell the truth, just set things in motion and guide when needed. But Andrew wasn't like the rest of them. His mind wasn't ready for any of this and Jeff wasn't sure he could willingly inflict that on him. He liked the kid already and didn't want to see him hurt.

Andrew stood and approached him, wondering what was wrong. Jeff was hard to read, Andrew decided. Something was wrong, of that he was certain, but he had no idea what. He wondered if Jeff would even tell him. Then again, they were strangers. Why would Jeff tell him anything? Just as Andrew was about to ask what was wrong, Charles arrived home with dinner and Andrew went to greet him.

“Oi, Hansen, I hope you're hungry. I got your favourite,” Charles said, showing him the bags of food he'd bought.

Andrew smiled and hugged him, glad to see him. “See, you do love me after all. I hope you've got enough for three. I just acquired a visitor.”

“A visitor, hey? Do I know them? Since when did you become sociable anyway?” Charles said, following Andrew into the lounge.

Andrew was surprised to find the lounge empty. Jeff had vanished, leaving no indication he was coming back.

“So where is he then? Gone and hidden himself? That's hardly sporting,” Charles said.

“He was here a minute ago. I swear, man, he was here and we were talking. I'm sure I didn't hear him leave. I wonder where he went,” Andrew said.

“Mate, you need to get out of the house. You're going crazy, if you'll pardon the expression,” Charles said, setting dinner down on the coffee table.

Andrew scowled at him but didn't argue. He sat down beside Charles and wondered if he wasn't right. Maybe it was another form of madness, another to add to the dark fog of his mind. A chill ran up his spine at the thought and he pushed it aside. People just don’t appear in someone’s house out of thin air and then vanish just as instantly. Do they?

* * *

Jeff found himself down by the harbour, gazing out at the water. It was growing dark and the bench he was sitting on was helpfully hidden by the shadows and the large tree behind him. He had fled from Andrew in fear, not wanting to hurt him. How was he supposed to handle him in the state he was in? No, it was too early in his timeline. Obviously something went wrong along the line and he got sent too early.

He took out the photo again, gazing at the lopsided grin and his messy hair, but he didn't look happy anymore. Jeff couldn't help a tear rolling down his cheek.

He reached into his pocket and took out a small roll of parchment sealed with wax. It was his 'get out of jail free' card, given to him an eternity ago. Breaking the seal would reveal the invocation that would end his bond to Andrew, or to whoever he was guiding at that point in time, and leave things just as they were. Not for the first time, Jeff considered breaking the seal. It would only work once, and after that, he would have to take everyone he was given til the end of time.

“You're not really going to use that, are you?” came a voice from behind.

Jeff cringed as a hand landed on his shoulder. Jeff glanced at him and slipped the sealed roll of parchment back into his pocket.

“Nah, nah I'm not. What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have other things you should be doing?” Jeff said reluctantly.

Hermes patted his shoulder as he came and sat next to him, resting his staff against the bench. “A little birdy told me you're not happy with your assignment. Come now, muse, it's hardly that difficult, is it?”

“Y’don’t know him, Hermes. You've never met him. He's not ready. I know most of the Gods don't give a damn about the mortals down here, but I do, and he's not ready. Just... just let me look after him for a while. Get him to a point where things can proceed as they're supposed to,” Jeff said.

“I don't know if I can let you do that. I run a tight schedule, I can't just have you spending as long as you bloody want here with this one. We're already a muse down, thanks to you. Don't make it any worse. Zeus only has so much patience for you and your love affair with mortals,” Hermes said.

“Y'know, I've never understood why you lot can go about having all the mortals you like, but I'm not allowed to care about the ones I'm supposed to guide. You try doing this job for a while and see how you like it. Andrew needs my help, and I ain't coming back up there til it's done. If that means you're a muse short, well, that's not my concern. You should stop taking on so many mortals. These aren't like the wishes of the djinn. We can't just wave our hands and things happen instantly. This is a time investment, something that can't be hurried. Now, do you want me to do my bloody job, or d'you really want me to break this seal and come back with you to get someone else?” Jeff said, the sealed roll of parchment finding its way into his hand again.

Hermes sighed as he stood, taking his staff in hand. “You've got 6 months. If there's no sign of progress, I'm cutting you loose. And don't you go breaking any more rules, okay?”

“But he's already worked out who I am. And don't you go giving me ultimatums either. It'll take as long as it takes, alright? This kid needs my help and I'm not going anywhere til he's better,” Jeff said.

Hermes smiled. “Good muse. I knew you'd come round. Be seeing you.”

Jeff watched him go, knowing he'd let Hermes Logios talk him into what he was supposed to be doing. He really hated him when he pulled that card on him. Such were his skills in oration he could convince cows to become vegetarian.

“Self-important prick.”

* * *

Andrew and Charles settled on the couch as Charles dished out their meal. Andrew had no idea why, but he was still feeling okay. Sure, he couldn’t understand why Jeff had come to him, but he figured he’d find out in due course. If his presence could continue to keep the dark fog at bay, which it seemed to be doing, he was not going to complain in the slightest. He hadn’t been able to think this clearly in months.

Charles had put the TV on, looking for a distraction. The Dark Crystal happened to be on, not one of Andrew’s favourites, but it would do. He remembered watching it as a child and being quite frightened of some of the monsters. They still seemed a little scary now, but Andrew had Charles by his side. Charles could slay them for him if he needed it.

“So, was there really someone here, or are you, you know, getting worse? I don’t need to take you to hospital, do I?” Charles said once they’d finished eating, concerned that Andrew would have more than just depression to worry about.

“Not this time. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a hallucination. I’ve had those before, thanks to one of the meds I was on, but this wasn’t anything like that. No, this was real. I know it sounds silly, though,” Andrew said.

“Who was here anyway? Anyone we know?” Charles said.

Andrew got up and grabbed one of the records. Slipping the poster out, he sat back down and pointed at two of them. “Those two, would you believe it? Actually, you probably won’t. But it was them. Jeff was the one who kissed me.”

Charles looked at the portraits of the two men. “You serious?”

“Uh, yeah. He sent me the records, and the record player over there. Sounds crazy, I know, but it’s true,” Andrew said.

“Huh. Well, we have had an exciting day, haven’t we? Think he’ll come back then?” Charles said.

“I hope so. Got a few things I want to ask him. And hey, you should be grateful. I think he’s got me over the worst of this bout. I actually woke up feeling okay for once,” Andrew said, prodding him in the ribs.

“Oh, so he’s a miracle cure too, hey? Well, I am pleased. I don’t like seeing you suffering,” Charles said.

“I hope it lasts. I don’t want to go back there if I can help it,” Andrew said. He curled up against Charles and pushed the sketchy memories away, clutching onto him.

Charles wrapped an arm around him and held him tight. “Mate, I’m the last one who wants you to go back there. If this bloke makes you better, well, I can’t complain. Maybe one day you’ll introduce us.”

“I’ll make sure to mention it when I see him next, whenever that will be,” Andrew promised.

Charles reached over and ruffled his hair. “You know, I like seeing you smiling again.”

Andrew smiled back at him. “Yeah, it feels good.”

Andrew noticed they’d drawn closer together, and he liked the way Charles was caressing his cheek. Andrew hadn't felt up to being with Charles for weeks, and he could begin to feel that desire coming back again. It wasn’t anywhere near normal levels, but he could appreciate his touch and not shy away from it like he usually did. He didn’t feel up to much making out, but there was something calming and desirable about being in his arms again, and he brushed a finger down his cheek affectionately. Charles brought him into his arms and they kissed gently. Charles didn't want to rush him, or push him too far. He knew he could always fuck around with Craig if he-

“Hey, are you two princesses home? I need a place to crash!” Craig called to them as he knocked on their front door, interrupting them.

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake,” Charles cursed. “Should we go let him in?”

“We might as well. He might just keep doing that otherwise,” Andrew said.

Leaving the couch behind, they headed to the door and found Craig waiting for them, dressed in a most extraordinary dress. And make-up. And heels. With some sort of ridiculous fruit hat on top. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder and he smiled at them as they opened the door to him.

“Has it been a rough night, Reuy?” Charles said, trying not to giggle too much.

Craig looked confused for a moment. “Oh. OH. The dress? Keisha had a drag party for her birthday and insisted I couldn’t wimp out. I was happy to show up everyone else. Whaddya think?”

Craig twirled around, letting the skirt billow out around him as he showed off his outfit. It was a colourful concoction of watermelon pink, pastel blue, lemon yellow and some hideous fluoro green, with some purple trim. Charles wasn't entirely sure it wouldn't be out of place at Mardi Gras.

“It looks lovely, princess,” Charles said, suppressing a grin.

“Ahaha, very funny. Do you mind me crashing here? ‘Cept it’s late and I can’t be arsed going home from here in this state,” Craig said.

“What do you think, Hansen? Should we allow another princess into our castle?” Charles said.

“We might as well, or he’ll never let us live it down. Besides, do you really want to send him away looking like that?” Andrew said, gesturing Craig inside.

“Thanks, my dears, most obliged,” Craig said as he passed them.

Craig flopped down on the sofa, kicking off his heels and taking off the hat. It had been a late night, a tiring night, and his lovely girlfriend had forgotten to mention just how painful heels could be. He almost wished she’d left with him, but they lived in different parts of the city and she was flying interstate the next day anyway, so he’d said his goodbyes and staggered off to find somewhere to crash. Charles and Andrew happened to be the closest, though he had a few other mates in mind if they’d refused him.

“Fuckin’ hell. I could sleep for a week after that. My feet are killing me,” Craig declared, resting his feet on the coffee table.

“Your fault for wearing heels, mate. You want anything?” Charles said.

“Oh, well, if you’re offering, what drinks have you got? Could do with a nightcap,” Craig said.

“That’d be right. What’re you after then? Don’t think we’ve got much around,” Charles said. “Andrew, you want something?”

Andrew came and sat down beside Craig. “Nah, I’ll be fine. I shouldn’t anyway y’know. Had enough tonight as it is. But I’ll take a cup of tea if you’re feeling generous.”

“Oh, I think I can manage that. Craig, right back with something for you,” Charles said, heading into the kitchen.

Craig grabbed Andrew and brought him close, pressing a kiss to his temple. Andrew squirmed but appreciated his affection as Craig did his best to make him laugh. Andrew batted away Craig’s attempts to tickle him, but gave in soon enough, and he ended up lying on his back as Craig attacked him, laughing in gleeful surrender.

Charles returned with a couple of glasses of red wine and a cup of tea for Andrew. He knelt in front of the coffee table so he didn’t drop the tray, and so he didn’t get in their way. Craig was being quite despicable, and they had knocked a few of the cushions from the sofa in the process. Charles had to smile, though. Andrew laughing was always a welcome sight.

“Well, there you go, my dearest. I hope this suffices. It’s all we’ve got,” Charles said, interrupting them.

“Ahh, good man, just what I was after. Come on, Andrew, stop being silly, the butler’s brought us some drinks,” Craig said, untangling himself from Andrew.

“He’s not your butler. He’s not even in some sort of tuxedo. And would you mind getting off my hand?” Andrew said, struggling to shift himself from underneath him.

“Oh! Sorry! Hope I didn’t hurt you too badly,” Craig said, removing his hand as he stood up and straightened his dress before sitting down again.

“Nah, I’ll live. You should get out of that dress. You’ll trip over it if you’re not careful,” Andrew said, retreating to a corner of the sofa to avoid being sat on.

“Nah, I totally got awesome at wearing it. Just you wait. I’ll get up those stairs in one piece without tripping, drunk and everything,” Craig said confidently.

“Oh, yeah, who said you were coming up the stairs? I thought you were crashing on the sofa,” Charles said pointedly as he took a seat in an adjacent armchair.

“Oh, I totally am, but I like a good challenge. Besides, I wanna see if your room’s still as messy as it always is,” Craig said, taking his glass and taking a sip.

“Of course it is. Charles lives in it. Why do you think that would have changed at all?” Andrew said. “Did you ever find that book of readings, or did you cave and buy another?”

“Oh, I bought another, but I lost that too. Oh well. There’s one in the library I can use if I need it,” Charles said.

Craig laughed. “You know, Charles, I’ve never known someone who has lost so many textbooks. You really should fix that room of yours. You might be surprised at what you find.”

“I suspect there might be some sort of alien life forms in there. And he wonders why I sleep in my own bed,” Andrew said, cuddling up to Craig.

Just then, Craig noticed what was on the TV. “Okay, am I just really drunk, or are there weird muppet things on the TV at the moment?”

Andrew looked shocked. “Surely you’ve seen The Dark Crystal. How could you not have seen that one?”

“I don’t think I’ve seen it, no. Man, that’s some weird shit right there. If I ever have kids, remind me never to show them this. Got anything that’s less likely to wreck my head?” Craig said.

“I think we’ll just turn it off for now. Craig’s enough entertainment for one evening,” Charles said, getting up to switch the TV off.

The silence was a little strange, but Andrew didn’t mind. In lieu of strange creatures on the television, Craig had started talking again at great length, philosophising about something or another. Andrew had lost track of what exactly he was talking about and wasn’t sure that was because Craig was drunk and being incoherent or whether Craig was being perfectly coherent but it was all incomprehensible to him. Craig appeared to be arguing with Charles about something, but Andrew didn’t care enough to join in.

* * *

After listening to them debate some topic about politics (that was as much as Andrew had been able to discern), Andrew decided he perhaps needed a bit of space. Left to his own thoughts, he had filled his mind with all sorts of things and he needed some time alone to sift through them all. Taking his mug of tea, he headed out the back verandah and watched the night sky. He didn’t even notice Jeff approaching until he came out of the shadows, getting caught in the moonlight.

“Hey. Um. Sorry for disappearing on ya like that,” Jeff said, approaching him.

Andrew looked at him, surprised to see him. “Oh. You’re back. I wondered where you’d gone. You okay?”

Jeff hesitated in replying as he came and sat beside him on the step. “I dunno. None of this is going how it should, and I’m not sure if the rules still apply.”

“What are you even talking about?” Andrew said, glancing over at him.

“Ohh, you’d never believe me if I told you. Trust me, it’s complicated,” Jeff said. He shifted a little and sighed. “It’s all too early for this. I shouldn’t be here, not now. Maybe in a few years’ time, but not now. You’re not ready for this.”

Andrew didn’t reply, taking some time to take in his words. He had no idea what to ask next. Before he could say anything, Jeff spoke again, his voice soft and sad.

“Probably shouldn’t have kissed you either. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Andrew shifted to face him and tried to read him. There wasn’t enough light to properly read his face, but he hadn’t been able to do that when they were inside earlier so he wasn’t sure why he thought he could do it now that they were outside and bathed in darkness. Jeff just sat there, all hunched over, staring at his feet.

“So why did you kiss me then?” Andrew asked.

“Cos it’s just how things are ‘sposed to be done. I can’t even remember why anymore,” Jeff said.

Silence fell between them then. Andrew reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder. Jeff cringed at the pain he could feel again. Everything about Andrew hurt. Neither spoke for a while. They sat there in silence and Andrew thought he saw a tear run down Jeff’s cheek and wondered what he had to be sad about.

“I just wanna make you better. I wanna take all this pain away and make you better. But that’s not part of me job. Not that they care. Gods don’t care about mortals,” Jeff murmured, refusing to look at him.

Andrew had no idea what he was talking about. “What do gods have to do with this? What’s going on here?”

Jeff sighed and gazed up at the sky for a moment, trying to decide what he should do. This wasn’t going like any of the others, and he wasn’t sure if revealing what he was now was a good idea as he’d thought when he was down by the harbour. Then again, Andrew knew too much already. What would the whole truth matter now?

“Might as well tell ya. No point in keeping you in the dark anymore. You wanna know what I really am? I’m a muse. Y’know, like them ones from Greek mythology? Yeah, like that, ‘cept I’m one of the older ones. We were here first. We didn’t even have corporeal forms back then. I’m Mneme, Memory. The other two are Melete, Practice, and Aoide, Song. I lived in streams and rivers, Melete was of the air, and Aoide only existed in the human voice. The other nine came along later and we got forgotten until suddenly Apollo needed more muses to run around after you lot, and so we were summoned from the physical world, given corporeal form, and sent off into the mortal world. That was a coupla millennia ago, though. World’s changed a lot since then, and I’ve got a head full of bad memories I can’t get rid of. We were never meant for this sort of work and it’s taken its toll over the years. I don’t even talk to Aoide anymore.”

Jeff’s voice trailed off and he sat there, staring up at the sky. He could see Apollo’s star up there, keeping an eye on him. He wasn’t even sure if Andrew would believe him, but he didn’t care. Just talking about what he was had brought back all those memories, and he thought again of Aoide and how they’d fallen apart. He missed him a lot, but he’d always been too stubborn and regretful to show his face to him again. Maybe one day he’d feel brave enough to talk to him. Maybe one day they’d be friends again.

Andrew wasn’t entirely sure what to make of his words. He wasn’t sure which was weirder: being friends with Jeff Lynne, or being friends with a bloody Greek Muse. If Andrew was being honest, he had never really believed in gods, but now one was apparently sitting right beside him. It was hard to know what to make of that.

Jeff interrupted his thoughts. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Hmm? Oh, sure, if you want,” Andrew said.

“Thanks, kid,” Jeff said and lit up.

“Are you really a god? Aren’t the Muses supposed to be girls anyway?” Andrew said.

Jeff took a moment to collect his thoughts. He took a drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke into the night. “We didn’t have genders back then. Not us three, anyway. We were abstract things, even though our names are feminine words, elemental, without form or voice, or in Aoide’s case, the voice itself. Only when we were called by Apollo were we given male form for whatever reason. We’ve always stayed together, the three of us, changed form with the times so we’d blend in. Unlike the other Muses, we’ve lived with mortals for our entire existence. It’s what we were made for. The other Muses are more distant. They were designed to be worshipped as goddesses, so that’s how they behave. But not us. We are water, breath, air, sound. We surround and exist within mortal bodies, sustain them with life and breath and give them voice. You do this job as long as I have and you learn just how amazing you lot can be. Sure, we’re divine inspiration, but you’d be a pretty lousy species if you couldn’t bring our inspiration to life as well as you do.”

“So what happened between you and Aoide then? What’s got you looking so bloody miserable?” Andrew said. He was able to notice that, at least, about his demeanour.

Jeff shifted uncomfortably, but he’d said too much not to give him an answer to that. “Ahh, you don’t wanna know about that. All you need to know is that I can’t forget anything. Part of being Memory, right? Forgetting things isn’t part of the job description. I’ve got two and a half thousand years worth of memories and guilt. I remember every mortal I’ve ever helped. It’s a curse more than anything, not being able to forget. Cos, y’see, I’m only supposed to come down, help things come into being, and then leave. But it’s never that simple, not with mortals. Some have fallen in love with me, and I’ve loved them back, but we’re not allowed to fall in love. Our presence in people’s lives is fleeting, momentary, not meant to last forever. I’ve left far too many people with broken hearts. Left meself with too much heartache. And then there was Aoide on top of all that… It was my fault anyway. Never knew when to stop. We haven’t talked for a couple of decades now. Probably never talk again. I miss Aoide, I miss him so much, but he doesn’t want to see me. Don’t blame him, really.”

Jeff paused, unsure what else to say. He finished his cigarette and squashed it underfoot into the wooden step. Getting to his feet, he left the verandah and headed into the garden. Andrew left his empty mug behind and followed him, unsure whether Jeff was supposed to be helping him, or if it was really the other way around.

“I think you should go talk to him if it’s cutting you up this much. Maybe he feels the same way. Maybe all you need to do is get together and clear the air. Then maybe you’d be happier to have him back by your side,” Andrew said as he stopped beside him.

“Come with me. I wanna show you something,” Jeff said, glancing down at him.

Andrew took his hand and they vanished into the air.

* * *

It was late, but Roy didn’t mind. He let himself in, happy to be back home again. He’d just spent three weeks in a Jamaican city, but he really wasn’t built for that sort of weather and desperately wished for home. He felt he might’ve appreciated it more if he’d been doing Muse work, but those days were long gone. He’d just been making music. Good music, he couldn’t fault that, but still, it was just music.

The house was dark, everyone else was asleep, of course, and he made sure not to make any sound as he made his way to his little study. It had a large window and a window seat and it overlooked a rather pretty garden. Pouring himself a drink, he sat down beside the window and watched the stars.

Thinking about the Muses again had him remembering how it used to be. He’d had some good times, met some wonderful people. There was nothing he liked more than being around creative people. But he was one of them now, flesh and blood and able to die. He’d traded it all away, all his powers and responsibilities, for a mortal life, all because he had fallen in love with another Muse, and it had ended so badly that they hadn’t talked since.

He was an old man now, anyway. He felt like one, at any rate. When he died, there would be nothing else. No new body, no more transformations, just an end to everything. He wasn’t sure which part of the Afterlife he’d end up in, but he’d be there somewhere. And that would be it. It would all be over. Left to sit amongst gods and angels and saints, there would be no more life left for him, just rest. It was almost depressing when he thought about it. He was used to bodies aging, it was part of how they blended in, but there was a permanence to it now that it had never had before. This was the last body he would ever have before he returned to the gods for the last time. He would die, and his body would be buried in the ground, and his life in the mortal realm would be over. For a small fleeting moment, he wondered if it wasn’t too late to get his powers back.

He noticed the flash of yellow light reflected in the window and knew who had come to visit him. He didn’t turn to face them, but he did wish they’d go away and leave him be. He was mortal now. He did not want any gods in his life.

“I don’t know why you’re here, Melete, but there’s nothing left to say now. Just leave me be,” Roy said, bringing his knees up to his chest as he tried to ignore him.

Bev took a step forward, watching him. He hadn’t been called Melete for decades. He rarely got a chance to reveal his true name to the people he helped, and it was strange to hear it again.

“So was it worth it, giving up everything?” Bev said.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand. You weren’t there. You don’t know anything,” Roy said.

“Funny, Mneme said the same thing to me a few days ago. When will the two of you let me in? I’m just as much a part of you as you both are. We all belong together, not separated by anger and misunderstanding. This rift will tear us apart, I’m sure of it, and if you think it hurts to be separated from Mneme, it’ll hurt a whole lot more when you’re separated from me too, so you think about that while you stay here and live out the rest of your life with all those bad memories you keep sulking about,” Bev said.

“Shut up. You don’t know anything. You don’t know what I’m feeling at all,” Roy said, curling up tighter as if it would hide him.

Bev approached him and sat opposite him. “Oh, I know, alright. We’re bound to each other still. I can feel your pain as easily as I always could. You really need to work on that. I don’t like seeing you so upset, especially at Mneme. I know he still blames himself for what happened, and before you yell at me that it was all his fault, do remember that you were hardly an angel back then either. These things go both ways, Aoide, and you could do well to remember that.”

Roy looked out the window again. “Yeah, well, he started it.”

“Don’t you pull that bullshit on me. I know you too well. Can’t you feel things falling apart? We need to be together again. It’s just making us all miserable,” Bev said.

Roy took a moment before he spoke. “So what if we did get back together? I’m sure the same things would happen again and I’d end up leaving. What’s the point?”

“No, things were fine until that moment. You’d gotten along fine, albeit with a few disagreements from time to time, for over two thousand years, and you let a little petty disagreement come between you? What really happened, Aoide? Why did you run away?”

“Why would you care? You ran off with him anyway, left me all alone,” Roy said.

Bev didn’t believe him. “You left us, Roy. Do remember that.”

Roy sighed and gathered his thoughts. He hadn’t told anyone what had really happened. He’d wanted to save face. Better to blame Mneme instead than to admit to what he’d done. Eventually, he spoke.

“I fell in love with Mneme, and Apollo made me choose between him and my immortality. That’s how I became mortal. I gave it all up for him, but I was too gutless to tell him that’s why I’d really done it. I don’t think he even knows how much I love him,” Roy said softly, burying his head in his arms.

It wasn’t the answer Bev was expecting, though he wasn’t sure exactly what he was expecting anyway. It changed things, though, that much he knew.

“You need to tell him, Aoide. He’s falling apart without you. You know what he’s like. He remembers everything because he must, and that just eats away at him until it festers like a wound and begins to hollow him out. Talk to him. Please. Make it all better,” Bev said.

“Leave me, please. I need some space to think,” Roy murmured.

Bev got the hint. He’d pushed things too far. He got to his feet and bowed to him before vanishing in a flash of yellow light. Roy didn’t look, just stayed where he was, wiping his tears away.

 

Andrew wasn’t sure where they were, but it looked like somewhere in England. They were standing in the middle of a suburban street at night time, the houses all silent and dark. Andrew wasn’t entirely sure why they were here either, and Jeff wasn’t being entirely forthcoming. They stepped aside as a yellow van drove past and turned into a driveway a few houses down. Jeff took Andrew’s hand and headed towards it. They kept to the shadows, watching someone get out. They had another with them, and they chatted amiably as they unpacked their gear.

“Who are these people? Anyone you know?” Andrew whispered.

“It’s Roy, and Carl. Carl should leave him in a minute, drive off back to his place. I used to be in a band with Roy, and everyone knew Carl. He was a decent bloke,” Jeff replied, matching his voice.

Once Roy had his gear by the front door, he waved him off and Carl drove off into the night. A light in one of the upstairs bedrooms came on as he went inside, and there was a call to be quiet. Roy cringed a little, but didn’t reply. Knowing he could put his things away properly the next day, he left his gear in the hallway, as out of the way as possible, and quietly climbed the stairs to head to bed.

Jeff and Andrew were still waiting outside, watching. Neither dared speak til the light had gone off again.

“Oh, he’s so young. I used to look like that once. Young, that is. Our bodies age, y’see, so we blend in. Thousands and thousands of lives we’ve lived, just to bring joy and inspiration to you lot. That’s why they age. When this body dies, I’ll get a new one. Seems a bit pointless, I know, but that’s just how it’s done,” Jeff said.

“So why did you bring me here?” Andrew said.

Jeff took a moment to compose himself before he spoke. “Roy is Aoide, at least it’s his current form. He’s the one I fell in love with.”

Andrew understood then. He could hear that yearning in his voice. Somehow, they’d been separated, and they missed each other, but neither seemed willing to try and fix things.

“You know, I’m sure you’d be happier if you just talked to him again rather than stalking his past like this. It is a bit creepy, you know,” Andrew said. “Did you ever tell him you loved him?”

“No. I never got a chance. We had this band, Aoide’s idea, but it went bad, we just kept fighting about it, couldn’t agree on how to do things, and then he just disappeared. When Melete and I saw him again, he was mortal, and he said he was leaving. He never said why, but he seemed to insinuate it was my fault. We just argued one last time and then he left. Walked away down the street and I never saw him again. I think we were both as bad as each other, though. Neither of us seemed willing to make it work, so it ended up falling in a heap. Well, no, I was able to make something of what was left, that was those records I sent you, but it never quite felt right without him, in spite of how famous it made me. But by then, he refused to talk to me, so there wasn’t anything else to do about it,” Jeff said.

Snow began to fall then, as if heralding a change of scenery. The street looked older then, the trees slightly bigger, the paint just a bit more chipped. There was no snow on the ground, of course, and the air seemed warmer and more summery. Roy stood outside again, wrapped in a light jacket. He looked older too. From the same vantage point, they watched. It took a moment to work out how much later it was.

“This is the week where he left. Is he talking to someone? I can’t see what’s going on without moving closer,” Jeff said, squinting through the bushes to the front lawn.

“Are you sure you should be seeing this? Why don’t you just talk to him if you’re so desperate to find out what happened? I’m sure that would go over better than you spying on the past,” Andrew said.

 

_Roy shoved his hands into his pockets, going over everything that had happened. He was still a bit jetlagged, but that was the least of his problems. This was as far as he’d gone since he got back, but he didn’t care. He wanted to be alone. It wasn’t that the tour had been terrible. Well, all things considered, it hadn’t been too awful, but he’d been reminded again why Jeff hated going on tour and he’d spent the time shut away in his hotel room, writing out the song in his head. It was the only way to express all the frustration and melancholy that had been building up for months._

_But he’d finally made the decision to leave. Well, if by decision it counts as disappearing as soon as he returned home. He hadn’t bothered to tell them, just disappeared into the ether, not wanting to see them. He had too much to think about, and he cherished Jeff too much to let a stupid band ruin their friendship, so he’d taken himself away._

_He didn’t see Apollo standing behind him, but he felt him there. He didn’t want to talk to gods. He wanted to run away and hide until all his problems went away. That would fix it._

_“I know what you’ve done, muse. Don’t think you can hide it from me,” Apollo said as he approached him. He was a tall blonde slender man, with a bow and a quiver of arrows on his back._

_“I haven’t done anything wrong. There are no rules for what I’ve done, so how can I have broken them?” Roy said, aware of what he was referring to._

_Apollo came around and stood in front of him. Roy looked away from him, not wishing to see him. “Love is for mortals, not muses. You exist to create and inspire, not love.”_

_“Then maybe I don’t wanna be a muse anymore,” Roy said._

_“Give him up, muse, or forfeit your immortality. I will not allow you to continue with such love in your heart,” Apollo said._

_Roy didn’t answer, and turned away from him. He would not give him up. Never. Not for Apollo, or Zeus, or Hermes, or anyone. Not even Aphrodite could make him give up his love._

 

“I really don’t think we should be watching this,” Andrew said, tugging Jeff away down the street out of earshot.

“But-but I don’t understand. Why’s he doing this? Who’s he talking about? What’s Apollo saying to him? I can’t quite hear them,” Jeff said, trying to get back again.

“Jeff, please, it’s probably better you don’t know. I just think this is something you should ask him in person,” Andrew said.

“Yes, it’s strange to think he’s talking sense, muse,” Hermes said as he approached. With a wave of his hand, they returned to Andrew’s back garden. “You are abusing your powers, muse, and I will have none of it. Keep at the task you have been given, and do not wander.”

“Let me guess, you’re another god?” Andrew said to Hermes.

“I am Hermes, my boy, and you will do well to remember that,” Hermes said with a flourishing bow.

“Oh, good. I’ve always wanted my life to be filled with gods. Now, apparently I’ve got my wish,” Andrew said.

“Do not try that sarcasm on me, boy. I’m watching you both. Any more abuses and I’ll break that seal myself,” Hermes said.

And with that, he was gone, leaving Andrew and Jeff in the garden alone. Jeff lit a cigarette and moved away from him, even more conflicted than he had been. But he couldn’t just go see Roy. That would never work, as much as he wanted it to. The last time Jeff had attempted to see him, Roy had made it clear he didn’t want to talk to him, and Jeff had left it at that. Obviously whatever it was he’d done was so bad it was unforgivable. Jeff felt it was probably the least he deserved, all things considered. Maybe he’d never see him again.

“Bloody prick. He’s always making my life more difficult than it needs to be. Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring you into all this, not with the way you are now. Yer mind’s too fragile for all this,” Jeff said, looking back at him.

“What do you mean, my mind’s too fragile?” Andrew said.

“Don’t think I can’t feel it. I know you’re depressed. Seemed pretty bad when I first arrived, which is why I didn’t want to do anything with you until you were better. I didn’t think you were ready for the emotional commitment this sort of relationship demands, especially when it’s all over and I have to leave you. The leaving is usually the hardest part. These things can last many weeks, sometimes even months, and you grow close to each other. Having to say goodbye hurts more every time I have to do it. It’s even worse for people who’ve fallen in love with me. That kind of heartache takes a long time to heal, if it heals at all, and I didn’t want to inflict any of that pain on you. I felt you had enough to deal with already without me barging in to mess up your life,” Jeff said.

Andrew moved away from him, contemplating his words. If he was honest, he had been close to trying to kill himself a while back if he just couldn’t get another song written. With his gigs drying up because he lacked the energy and confidence to submit himself to that sort of ordeal, he’d begun to wonder if there was any point at all to pursuing his musical dreams.

“So why did you even do it at all? Why start this then if you’re not sure I can handle it? Why not just wait then?” Andrew said.

“I wish I knew. I don’t know why I was sent now, rather than later on in your life. If I knew that, I’d tell you. But there are schedules and all sorts of other bullshit, and Hermes and Apollo keeping tabs on me, and it’s not just something I can be flexible with. I don’t choose these things, they get given to me. Maybe the Fates have some knowledge I don’t have about why this is all happening. I’m sure there’s some reason behind it, these sorts of things never happen for no reason, but what that might be escapes me,” Jeff said.

“Well, I will admit I have wondered if I’m supposed to be helping you and not the other way around,” Andrew said.

“Yeah, well, I doubt you can help me, I-”

“Hey, Andrew, you coming back in? Only Craig’s got the karaoke going and he wants to cheer you up,” Charles called from the verandah.

Andrew turned to see him and smiled. “Coming! I was just getting some-” He turned to ask Jeff if he wanted to come with them, but he’d vanished. “-air.”

Not wasting any time looking for him, he returned inside, pushing thoughts of Jeff, muses and gods out of his head.

* * *

Lying in bed well after midnight, Andrew found he couldn’t sleep. Charles had coaxed him into his bed and he held him close, not quite asleep, but Andrew didn’t bother to wake him. His mind was full of questions and thoughts again now that he was alone in the darkness. He wasn’t sure what had happened in the garden with Jeff was real, or if he’d just imagined it all. He didn’t get much time to ponder that when Bev appeared beside him, carefully crouched in between the mess.

“Do you even know what time it is? I could be sleeping, you know,” Andrew whispered.

“If that were true, I expect you’d be asleep. Come on, we need to talk,” Bev whispered back.

Andrew gestured over his shoulder at his sleeping companion. “How do you expect me to get out of this mess without waking him?”

“Leave that to me.”

Andrew didn’t see anything, but there did appear to be some sort of hot breeze that swept across the bed. Bev knelt down again and patted him on the shoulder.

“Come on, then. He won’t wake now, and you won’t wake him tripping over half the stuff in this room. God, it’s disgusting in here,” Bev whispered.

Figuring he wasn’t going to get out of this one, Andrew got up, carefully slipping free of Charles’ embrace, and picked his way across the room. Bev led him back downstairs and they crept past Craig sleeping on the couch as they headed outside again.

“So, what do you want then?” Andrew murmured, still not willing to raise his voice too much.

“I know what Jeff showed you tonight. I’m going to be honest with you. The gods are worried about him, and I’m stuck in the middle passing messages between them because in spite of it all, I still love them both. My brothers are fighting and it hurts. I want it to end. That’s why I need your help. See, he and Roy loved each other, but they never got a chance to tell each other that before they broke up and now they refuse to talk to each other. You can tell they miss each other, can’t you?” Bev said.

“There was a moment when it became clear how much Jeff loved him, yeah,” Andrew said.

“I watched what you did back there. I reckon you might be the only one who could get through to him, get him and Roy back together again. He won’t listen to us anymore, but he might listen to you. We think this is why he was sent so early on in your timeline. You’re helping him this time. Do you think you’re up to it? I wouldn’t want to push you if you don’t feel up to it, though,” Bev said.

Andrew suppressed a laugh. “My life was so much simpler before all you gods came crashing into my life. I think I can do it, but I don’t know why he’d listen to me more than you. I’m no one important.”

“Tell him about the girl you loved. We’re not omniscient gods, we don’t know everything. Tell him about her. I think he’d respond to that. But try not to be too obvious about what you’re doing. He’ll just come back and yell at me. No, better he come of his own free will,” Bev said.

“Okay, I’ll do my best, but I can’t guarantee anything,” Andrew said. “He’s impossible to read, you know. I never know what he’s thinking.”

“Yes, he’s irritating like that. I can’t help you with that, sorry, but here, take this,” Bev slipped an amulet out of his pocket, “and call me if you need me. Just buff the surface. And keep it away from Jeff. I don’t think he’ll be able to sense it, but I wouldn’t keep it somewhere where he could see it. I don’t want him to know I’m involved in all this.”

Andrew took the amulet. It was a round bronze disc, almost like a tiny round shield, and it had engravings and jewels set in it. The image in the centre was obviously some sort of representation of the muse before him, though Andrew couldn’t quite work out what it was supposed to be.

“It’s me striking the air. Isn’t it obvious? It’s a bit stupid for a symbol, I know, but we’re abstract concepts, not corporeal beings. You can’t just draw us like that,” Bev muttered, noticing him squinting at the centre of the disc in confusion. “If only they’d had drum kits back then. That would’ve made more sense.”

“I’d at least have recognised it, that’s for sure. I like it. It, um, suits you, I think. You look very dashing,” Andrew said, trying to find something positive to say about it.

“No, what I need is to get Hephaistos to make me some new ones, that’s what. Of course he’s always too busy to do that, though. That volcano’s sent him mad, I reckon. He lives there, see, so he can forge his crafts, but man, it’s a terrible place to live. All that magma and heat, and all those spirits he keeps around him to help him out, it’s not a great place to go,” Bev said.

“I’ll make a note never to go visit him, then, shall I?” Andrew said, a small grin crossing his lips. “Do you really think I can get through to Jeff?”

“I don’t know for sure, but I think you’ve got the best chance. You’re mortal. He loves mortals. Besides, I reckon you’ve got enough in common to get through to him somehow,” Bev said.

“Your confidence in me is inspirational,” Andrew said.

“Just give it a go, and if it doesn’t work, Hermes and I will drag him off to see Roy just to spite him. Jeff’s work is suffering, you see? Can’t be a good muse when he’s so bloody miserable. That’s why we’ve got to get them talking again. Jeff’ll probably spend some time trying to make Roy a muse again, but it’ll be better than the two of them sulking over a misunderstanding,” Bev said.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do. If you want to give this depression a kick up the pants while you’re at it, I’d be most grateful,” Andrew said.

“I would, but this isn’t one of those things I can change. I can’t just magic it away because it’ll change things too much. We’re not supposed to mess with timelines like that and this is just one of those things you’ve got to get through to be a better person later on. Just keep at it. It won’t last forever. You’ve got a bright future ahead of you, that much I do know. The Fates weren’t specific, but you’ve got to keep going, even if it seems like it’ll never end. The world will see your shining star one day,” Bev said.

Andrew searched his eyes for some reassurance, unsure how to take the news that the god standing before him couldn’t just wave his hands and make things better. What use, then, were gods if they couldn’t do that? “So it gets better? All this shit I’ve been going through these past few years, it all gets better? How can it get better when I feel so bad?”

Bev squeezed his shoulder gently. “Yeah, it does get better. Trust me. You’ve got some wild times ahead, so don’t you go doing something stupid before then, okay? The world needs you and your music. I think even Aoide would agree with that.”

Andrew watched as a golden orb of light appeared between Bev’s hands. He cupped his hands together, letting a little of the light through. “How are you doing that? What is that anyway?”

“That’s your shining star. Don’t let it dim.”

Andrew reached out to touch it, but decided against it. He could feel the heat coming off it and he was intrigued by the light it gave off. Bev let it go, and it floated towards him, resting in the air before his eyes, this little golden ball of light. It ebbed and shifted about, as if it were alive. It wasn’t blinding light, but it did make him squint a little and having it so close blinded him to everything else around him.

“Take it, and never let it fade, even when it seems like the world is crashing down around you. That light will guide the way.”

“It’s so beautiful,” was all Andrew could say. He couldn’t even feel the tears trickling down his cheeks.

Andrew watched, transfixed, as that little light hovered at his chest before sinking into his heart. A seeping warmth flooded his body and he could feel that light inside him, burning bright. The dark fog in his mind retreated, just a little, and he could almost imagine things would really get better. He smiled.

When Andrew looked up, he was alone. Bev had vanished. Confused, but still somewhat elated, if that was the right word to describe how he was feeling at that moment, he went back inside and quietly crept back into bed. He slept soundly for the first time in a week, untroubled by bad dreams as the light held them at bay.

* * *

Andrew didn’t see Jeff for over a month after that night. He had no idea what he was doing, and a small part of him wasn’t sure he cared. Things had begun to get better anyway. The music was beginning to come to him again, and all those little figments he’d written before that had stubbornly refused to be finished began turning into proper songs. They weren’t happy songs, but he didn’t really mind. He preferred it like that anyway as it got all those bad thoughts out of his head and into song and somehow they didn’t seem quite so bad then. The more he worked on them, the less power they held over him, and that made it easier to get out of bed in the morning. Slowly, inch by inch, the fog was receding.

Andrew met Jeff down by the harbour, as it turned out. Andrew had just been out for a walk, just to get him out of the house, and he’d found Jeff sitting on one of the benches in the shade. It wasn’t immediately obvious he was waiting for him, but Andrew noticed him and went over to him anyway, taking a seat beside him.

“I was beginning to think I’d never see you again,” Andrew said.

“Wanted to give you some space, that’s all. You don’t need me in your face all the time. You’ve got enough to worry about,” Jeff said. “How are you doing anyway?”

Andrew shrugged. “Oh, I’m alright, all things considered. Been worse, that’s for sure. So what have you been doing anyway? Been flying off to see other people?”

“Something like that, yeah. I went to see the Fates, actually, but they never give me answers anymore. Don’t know why I bother,” Jeff said.

“Still trying to figure out what went on back then, hey? You really should just stop being a stubborn arse and talk to this Roy fellow about it,” Andrew said.

“I can’t go see him again. He doesn’t want to see me. Why bother?” Andrew noticed the way Jeff’s shoulders slumped as he spoke. Jeff lit a cigarette and sat there, staring at the ground as he smoked. “It’s just – I still don’t know what I did to piss him off. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be apologising for. Why’s it all my fault, y’know? Like, it weren’t all my fault anyway. He kept nicking credit for my work. I know he said it wasn’t him, that it was higher ups who did that, but I don’t believe him. That shit hurts, y’know? We’re creative beings. We’ve always respected each other’s creations. So why’d be have to do that to me? I loved him, man, and he did that shit to me and then had the gall to say it was all my fault. What am I supposed to do?”

“Why don’t you believe him? If you care for each other as much as you do, why would he do that to you? Would you mind thinking rationally about that for a moment? Maybe you’re just misunderstanding the situation?” Andrew suggested.

“I don’t know why he’d do that. I don’t know why it would happen at all. He said it wasn’t his decision, that he’d told them to change it, but I don’t know anymore. It was a crazy time. I don’t think anyone knew what was going on back then, but there’s no excuse for that. But I never got a chance to even ask him about it. He left and that was it. He never wanted to see me so I was left with no way of knowing what had really happened,” Jeff said.

“Like I said, talk to him and sort it out. Seriously, are you just going to keep bitching about this for another two decades? You really are a bit more pathetic than I’d anticipated,” Andrew said. “Besides, the sooner you get over your issues, the sooner you can help me with mine. Isn’t that what you’re here for, muse?”

Jeff cringed at the name. He hated being referred to that way, as if he didn’t even have a name. He hated that Andrew was talking sense, but he still wasn’t sure he’d give in and just go and see Roy again, as if nothing had happened.

“Why do you want me to make up with him so badly? Haven’t had any gods talking to you behind me back, have you?” Jeff said.

“No, I want you to make up with him because it’s making you miserable. Even I can see that. It might even make you shut up about it long enough to help me. Muses are supposed to do that, aren’t they? I mean, I know it obviously cut you up pretty bad, but whingeing about it to me isn’t going to make it better, you know,” Andrew said.

Jeff thought about chastising him for even suggesting he was whingeing, but then thought better of it. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just a touchy issue for me. I don’t know what to do to make things better between us and he doesn’t want to see me anyway, so why would I bother trying to reach out to him again? I’m just frustrated and angry and sad and I miss him so much, but I can’t see a way to make things better.”

Andrew sighed. Apparently this was going to take a while. “I keep telling you what you should do. Grow some balls and go see him. Maybe all you need to do is just talk to him again. That can’t hurt, can it?”

“I’ve tried to see him again, though. He told me he didn’t want to see me,” Jeff protested.

“How long ago was that anyway? Maybe the time’s changed him. He’s mortal now, right? He’s probably had a lot of time to think about things. He’s going to die now, isn’t he? When his body gets too old? I daresay you don’t have time on your side anymore. Trust me. I’m mortal. I’m a human being. I know what time does when you get into situations like that. You sit and mull things over and sometimes they don’t seem quite as bad as they did at the time. Maybe things were never the way you remember them being. Maybe you never heard the other side of the story. Things happen like that. But that’s no reason not to talk to him again,” Andrew said.

“I’ve tried not to think about his mortality. He will die, yes, and he won’t come back. I’ve been reassured he has a place in the Heavens, but who knows? It’s not something I really know how to deal with. Humans die. But gods don’t die, not like that. Who am I kidding? Our gods are just like mortals. Killing and cheating and being bastards to each other. We die. But it’s not the same as mortal death. It’s more of a change of state. Some of them go on to become stars and such. Changed into other forms. But it’s not proper mortal death. I don’t know what I’ll do when he does die. Go mad, probably,” Jeff murmured, scuffing his shoe against the ground.

“I daresay you’ll feel even worse about it if you never make up with him before he dies. How old is he now anyway?” Andrew said.

“He’s not that old, not yet, but he will be one day. It’s been over 20 years since we fell out. What am I supposed to do? It’s been too long. Why bother with it now? Why not just let it rest?” Jeff said.

“I don’t know. You’re the one who keeps banging on about it. If you’re really that bothered by it, go and make peace with him. I’m not even asking to come along. You just bugger off like normal and talk to him and I’ll wait here with Charles and try to get some work done. How does that suit you? Besides, you won’t know he’s not interested in making peace too if you never bother to go see him. Worrying about what might happen won’t do you any good at all. You’ll have to take a risk if you want him back,” Andrew said.

“I know, but I don’t know if I’m brave enough to do that. What’ll I do if he rejects me? I need my brother back, but I fear it might be too late,” Jeff said.

“Oh, just get out of here, Jeff, and go talk to him already. Stop bothering me with it and do something. You are a god, aren’t you?” Andrew said, pulling him to his feet.

Jeff tried to protest. “But what if he rejects me? What if he doesn’t want to talk to me? What if he-”

“Go and find out. You’re driving me batty and I have songs I want to write. Jesus, not even I’m as bad as you, and I’m depressed. Stop being so pathetic and go talk to him. You won’t get him back if you just stay here talking to me,” Andrew said.

Jeff gave up the fight then. Andrew was speaking too much sense again. “Okay. Fine. I’ll go talk to him, but I’m not making any promises, alright?”

“I don’t care, just go. Nothing will change if you don’t do anything and I suspect you’ll be bitching to another mortal another 20 years from now as your dear Aoide grows ever closer to death and you’ll end up wishing you’d done something about it now. You don’t have time on your side anymore. You can’t just ignore this until he’s ready to talk. The longer you wait, the less time he has left,” Andrew said. “Just trust me. It’s better this way. Besides, you never know. Maybe he’s ready to see you now. Maybe things will go okay once you’ve talked it over.”

“Yeah, maybe. I don’t even know what to say to him. But you’re right. I can’t just leave it. He will die one day and then it’ll be too late. I’ll … I’ll see you later, yeah? I don’t know when. I may need some time to think about it all once it’s over. I may be away a while,” Jeff said.

“Don’t worry about me. I survived without you quite well til now. I’ve still got Charles by my side. Go make things better before it’s too late. See, I missed out. She went away before we could talk about it and now I doubt I’ll ever see her again. We were friends, Jeff, close friends, and I loved her, but I’ve lost her forever now. She’s gone, and I don’t have the heart to follow her, not when she doesn’t care for me anymore. That’s sort of why I ended up with Charles. But I’ll tell you everything once you get back, alright? Go make peace with him,” Andrew said.

“I’ll keep you to that. Alright. Wish me luck,” Jeff said.

“Good luck. Here’s hoping things go okay,” Andrew said.

In a flash of golden light, Jeff was gone. Andrew smiled and took the small amulet out of his pocket. He didn’t summon Bev, he didn’t think he needed to, but he at least felt he’d kept his promise. He just hoped it was the right thing to do.

* * *

Jeff didn’t go straight to Roy’s, not to talk to him, at least. He kept getting close to his house, but kept chickening out, so he contented himself with just sitting and watching as he tried to summon the courage to knock on the door and apologise. He still didn’t have any idea what he’d say, but he was getting there. Sort of. He counted the days, waiting for the right time to approach him in between wandering around his old home town, wondering what his other mortal friends were up to.

He just didn’t expect Roy to notice him one night as he was coming back from the pub. Jeff had been leaning against a tree across the road, just watching, when Roy appeared. He felt he might just walk past him, like he’d normally done, but this time, he stopped in front of him and looked right at him.

“How long are you going to stand there for? You do realise that’s creeping me out, yeah?” Roy said. “Come inside. I don’t want to fight with you out here.”

Reluctantly, Jeff followed him inside, and they stood in his front room in silence. Jeff wanted to leave, but he wasn’t sure that was a good idea. He wondered how Roy had been able to see him. Mortals usually weren’t able to see him if he didn’t-

“You’re an idiot. You know that magic doesn’t work on me,” Roy said, interrupting his thoughts. “I’m mortal, but I still have those immunities, it seems. What are you even doing here, apart from stalking me? I noticed you haunting my dreams too. I never thought you’d do that to me either.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you knew about that. I don’t even know why I did it now. Stupid thing to do. Shouldn’t have done that,” Jeff said. “Then again, I never thought we’d stop talking to each other either. I miss you, Aoide.”

“Sure you do. Why would you care? Took you long enough to come here, didn’t it? Did Melete talk you into this? He seems to think we should be friends again. Why, I don’t know,” Roy said.

“Nah, it wasn’t him, it was the kid I’m working with at the moment,” Jeff said. “I don’t even know what I did to piss you off back then, but it’s been bugging me since. What did I even do? What should I apologise for? Help me out here, will you?”

Roy turned away from him. He wondered if that might come up. He wondered how he’d react when he told him he hadn’t done anything and that he’d hidden the real reason from him to save him the pain. He wasn’t sure where to go. He hated confrontation, but running away from his own home seemed a bit petty, even for him, even if it was to avoid talking to Jeff. He walked to the window and gazed out at the street, trying to decide what to do.

“Aoide? What’s wrong? What did I do to upset you so much? Just tell me so I can make it better. I don’t want us fighting anymore. One day you’ll be dead and then it’ll be too late and I don’t want to have waited that long before trying to make things better. The kid was right about that. It’s been too long already. I miss you. I love you. I just want things to be right again,” Jeff said, approaching him slowly.

“Don’t – don’t say that. It’s not true. You’re just trying to wind me up,” Roy said, fighting back his tears. He didn’t want Jeff to love him. That would just make things harder.

Jeff dared approach a little closer and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Say what? Just talk to me, Roy. We’re brothers. We’ve shared so much together. Why are you blocking me out now?”

“You don’t know anything. You don’t know anything. Just go now. Don’t make it worse,” Roy said.

“It’s taken me twenty years to find the courage to come and talk to you. You’re not kicking me out now, not til we’ve talked about this properly,” Jeff said. “Why did you really become mortal? What really happened back then? All I know is that things got bad and you disappeared. You didn’t even really tell me why you were leaving. Of course I don’t know what happened. You never told me what happened. How am I supposed to know how to fix this if you won’t talk to me?”

“Tell him, Roy. Tell him what you really did for him. He has a right to know,” Bev said, appearing beside them.

“No, he doesn’t. It hurts too much. Don’t make me bring that up again,” Roy said.

“What’s going on? What do you know, Bev? What happened back then?” Jeff said.

“Just – can you two just back off and give me some space? This isn’t easy to talk about,” Roy said, glancing at them both.

Bev pulled him back, leaving Roy by the window. Jeff stared after him, wondering what was going on. What was he hiding from him?

“What are you talking about? Has this got something to do with why you became mortal?” Jeff said.

“Maybe. Lots of things happened back then,” Roy said.

Jeff didn’t reply, and Roy fell silent. Jeff didn’t want to push him or he might never know what happened. Bev held him back and they sat on the sofa, waiting for him.

Roy didn’t speak for a long time. He had too many thoughts in his head, and he wasn’t sure he had the courage to admit just how much he loved him and what he’d given up for him. His sacrifice had gone unnoticed because he chickened out of telling him. Was there even any point to telling him now?

“Apollo made me give up my immortality because I wouldn’t give up my love for you. That’s what really happened. I’m sorry I never told you before. I didn’t want to trouble you with it. I thought you might try and talk me out of it,” Roy said eventually, his voice weary and soft.

Jeff looked up at him in surprise, unsure how to react. He got to his feet and approached him. He didn’t say anything for a while, and Roy turned back to the window, waiting for his reaction.

“You did that for me? You gave up all that for me? Why? Why would you do that?” Jeff said, confused.

“I loved you. That’s why I did it. Apollo said we weren’t allowed to fall in love. We’re muses, we inspire and create, not love. So I decided I’d rather not be a muse anymore because I loved you too much to just let you go,” Roy said.

It was Jeff’s turn to be silent. He wasn’t sure what to make of what he’d said. He hadn’t even realised Roy had fallen in love with him. Jeff had loved Roy, but he’d never had a chance to tell him either, not when they were fighting and trying to out-do each other all the time. And then Roy left and Jeff lost his nerve. But to think that Roy had given up his immortality just for him, just because he loved him? He wasn’t sure how to react to that. What did you say to that anyway?

“I need some time to think about this. I just – I’m sorry, I’ll be back,” Jeff said and vanished.

Bev rolled his eyes; Roy just looked dismayed and sunk into the sofa, looking more miserable than before. He’d been rejected, at least that’s what it felt like, and his heart was breaking all over again. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream and shout and smack Jeff until he saw sense, but all he could do was sit there and fight back his tears.

“Why am I not surprised he scarpered? Honestly, you two are as bad as each other. Leave it to me. I’ll go get him,” Bev said and vanished.

 

Jeff hadn’t actually gone that far, but that wasn’t really the point. He just wanted to be away from them. He needed time to process what Roy’d said. He’d never had anyone sacrifice so much for him before. Had Roy loved him all these years and he hadn’t even noticed? He felt it was pretty stupid of him not to notice that.

“I hoped you hadn’t gone far. Are you going to come back and stop being a coward?” Bev said, approaching him.

“What am I supposed to say to him? He did that for me and I have no idea how to react to that. I love him, but what do I do to make up for that? What can I give him that matches that? And you knew too, didn’t you? How come you knew and I didn’t?” Jeff said.

“I only found out a few weeks ago. I urged him to tell you, though. I thought you needed to know that so maybe this fighting won’t go on forever. Go back and tell him how you feel. Don’t drag this out any longer, okay?” Bev said.

“How did you know I was here anyway? Talking to him, I mean,” Jeff said.

“How do you think I know? I’m always aware of where you are,” Bev said. “Come on, we can’t leave him there like that. He’ll think you’ve rejected him and that won’t make things better, trust me.”

* * *

Roy hadn’t expected Jeff to return at all, but there he was with Bev in the middle of his living room. He wasn’t sure if he should be happy or not and he couldn’t read the expression on his face. He stood and approached them, wondering what to say.

“I’ll leave you to it. Don’t try running away again, or I’ll drag you back here myself and chain you here til you’ve both sorted this shit out,” Bev said, giving them both a warning glare.

With grumbled replies, Bev left them alone. With no other option left, Jeff would just have to get it over with. Roy was close now, and there was an anxiety on his face that made Jeff feel a little guilty for running away.

“Sorry. I just – I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I can’t believe you gave up your immortality for me. I don’t know if I deserved it, not with how everything panned out. Sorry about that,” Jeff said.

“I should’ve told you years ago but I didn’t even know if you loved me back. That was why I never told you. I was scared to risk the possibility that you didn’t love me back and that I gave it all up for nothing,” Roy said.

“But I did love you. I do love you. You just never gave me a chance to tell you. You became mortal and told me you never wanted to see me again. What was I supposed to do? I left you alone. I had muse work to do. I couldn’t spend my life wondering what might’ve been,” Jeff said.

“I tried to forget. I tried to pretend it never happened. But I started a family, I had kids, settled down like mortals do. But it never killed my love for you. I always loved you. Keeping you away was for the best. It dulled the pain,” Roy said.

Jeff reached out and grasped his shoulder gently. “Can we not fight anymore? I spent the last two decades missing you terribly. I had no way of knowing what really happened and you kept shutting me out. It just made me miserable.”

“Don’t – Mneme, please, I’m going to die one day. I don’t want to put you through that,” Roy said, pushing away from him.

“I promise, I’ll beg all the Gods in the Heavens to make you a muse again. I never want to be without you, can’t you understand that? You and me and Melete, we’re brothers. I need you. I miss you. Please. Come back. Sing to me like you used to,” Jeff said.

“What’s the point in being a muse anyway? They don’t need us in this world. I’m tired, Mneme. I’m sure you are too. Maybe – maybe it’s time we stopped doing this. Apollo has plenty of other muses. They don’t need us. Let’s just stay here til we die, you and me and Melete. Then it’ll be over. I won’t be punished for loving you then,” Roy said.

“If we don’t make them accept our love, then nothing will ever change up there. You know what they’re like. We’re still kissing people even though no one can remember why anymore; it’s just how things are done. We three brothers need to be together again, even Melete knows that. Maybe what we need is to finally get rid of these corporeal bodies and go back to what we used to be,” Jeff said, trying to find some angle that might work. He brought him close, hugging him tight.

“I just want to run away again. Just you and me and Melete. No more muses, no more gods, just us together. That’s all,” Roy said.

“Not until I’ve helped this one last kid. I promised I’d make him better, Roy. I promised. I can’t just leave him now,” Jeff said.

“I forgot you were still a muse. I didn’t know you had someone though. Don’t mind me. I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long, haven’t I?” Roy said. He tried to look happy, but Jeff saw otherwise.

“Yeah, you’ve waited long enough. Should we go sort this out now? What do you want me to do?” Jeff said.

“Can we – can we just spend some time together first? I need some time to decide what to do. I have a family now, Jeff. I won’t just abandon them,” Roy said.

“Sure, we can do that. You can tell me about everything you’ve been up to since you’ve been mortal,” Jeff said.

“Thanks. I’m so glad you came to talk to me at last. I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever come back. I did miss you,” Roy said, hugging him back this time.

“The Fates would no doubt say everything happens when it’s supposed to happen. But they don’t talk to me anymore either. I may have kept asking about you til they told me to go away,” Jeff said.

“I’d tell you to go away if you did that to me too, you know,” Roy said, giving him a smile. “Come on, let’s go outside to the garden. It’s nicer out there and we’re less likely to wake them.”

An arm wrapped around his waist, Jeff went with him outside, and they found the small gazebo at the back where they sat down together. At first, they didn’t say much, just enjoyed being close again. Jeff didn’t want to ruin the moment and just enjoyed the cool night air, knowing he didn’t feel quite so miserable as he had before, now that he had his brother back.

* * *

Andrew had had a very productive week. He was beginning to get his mojo back, and he’d even done a couple of live shows, though not without having Charles and Craig nearby for company and support. He had some new songs to perform now, and while they weren’t the best he’d ever written, he didn’t get laughed out of the place either. He thought this quite an improvement, and he was feeling quite pleased with himself. It was a welcome confidence boost, and while he’d never tell Charles, that yellow golden shining light was still there, gently guiding him when he needed it.

It was a Friday night, and neither had anywhere to go for once. Andrew had come home from doing some lacklustre study at uni to find Charles had prepared dinner for them. The table was set all beautifully, with a red rose and a white rose in a vase in the middle, surrounded by pretty little candles. It wasn’t overly romantic, but Andrew adored the effort he’d gone to, just for him, another of those little things Charles did that made Andrew love him.

Charles greeted him at the door in his best tux, bowing to him as he took his bag and set it aside. Taking his arm, he led him to the dining room. It was spectacularly tidy. Andrew was sure he hadn’t seen it that tidy since before they moved in. He wasn’t sure, but the carpet looked like it had actually been vacuumed too. Now that was some effort and Andrew was suitably impressed.

“Please, take a seat. I’ll be looking after you tonight. I just – I just want to celebrate the good things for once, you know? We don’t do that enough. And it’s been a good week, hasn’t it?” Charles said, pulling a seat out for him.

Andrew sat down. “Yeah, it’s been a good week. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble, you know.”

“I don’t care if I’m broke for the next week. Sometimes you just need to do this to remind you life isn’t always a pile of shit,” Charles said.

It was hard to argue with that. Andrew appreciated that he’d go to such lengths for him. There was no special reason, no birthdays or other special events, just Charles wanting to celebrate getting through another week. Andrew thought that was a pretty good reason, considering how terrible some previous weeks had been.

They ate by candlelight, Charles reaching across the table to hold his hand every so often. The wine was good, the food was good, and Andrew had never felt quite so loved as he did then. Charles had even cooked it all too. The boy was a keeper, of that Andrew was certain. He might not always understand what was going on in his head, something Andrew was never quite sure of either, but he was there for him, always by his side, ready to take care of him when he needed it.

Charles served blueberry muffins for dessert. He’d made them himself, and they were still warm from the oven. Andrew thought they tasted delicious. They sat on the sofa in front of the TV, just being close. Charles had undressed a little, leaving the jacket and tie behind on a chair, and Andrew couldn’t wait to kiss him when he leaned in close and took a bite of his muffin.

Soon, Charles lay him down on the couch and kissed him, holding him gently. Charles was hesitant, kept asking him if he was okay, and Andrew kept reassuring him that it was what he wanted. They didn’t have sex, but that was hardly the point. Andrew appreciated everything he did, and they lay there together, their bodies entwined, just kissing gently as Charles caressed his body gently, brushing his fingers against his warm skin.

“I think I’m going to be okay, you know,” Andrew murmured.

“I think you are, too, if I have anything to say about it. We’ll do this again sometime, just because if you don’t celebrate the good times, you forget you’ve had them, and I don’t want you to forget the good times. I still fucking care about you, even if you sometimes get angry and yell at me because I don’t understand. I’m not going anywhere, Andrew, so you’d better get used to it,” Charles said and pressed a kiss to his neck.

“You’re as stubborn as an ox, Charles, but I think I can cope with that,” Andrew said with a grin.

Charles just kissed him again and Andrew held him back. He hadn’t felt so free in weeks and he wasn’t going to let it go. Pushing everything to the back of his mind, he let it all go so he could enjoy the moment.

* * *

“I think I’ve made up me mind.”

Jeff turned to find Roy approaching him, Bev, Hermes and Apollo by his side. It had been a tough few weeks and while they had become as close as they’d always been, Roy had shown Jeff just what he had to lose if he became a muse again, and there were times when Jeff thought he’d asked him to sacrifice his life again, just for him, and he wondered what he could do to make up for that. Roy kept giving everything up and Jeff kept taking it and it made him feel very selfish. Several times he was close to calling Hermes and asking to become mortal to even it up.

“You sure? What’s it got to do with them?” Jeff said, eyeing Apollo and Hermes with suspicion.

“We’ve been talking. I want to be a muse again, but not like before. I want us to go back to how we used to be, not running around after mortals. I want us freed from this contract. Let the other muses run after them. I don’t want to do it anymore, and I don’t think you do either,” Roy said.

“We’ve come to an agreement. It wasn’t easy, and it took Zeus a long time to come around, but it’s been sorted. You’re free. Just – don’t mention the love thing, especially to Zeus. I had a hard enough time trying to bring him round the first time. I don’t need Zeus getting mad because he finds out you’re both in love,” Hermes said.

“You’re giving up everything for me again. Why do you keep doing that? It ain’t right. I feel like I’m forcing you into this, that I’m not giving up anything in return,” Jeff said.

Roy took a moment to settle his thoughts. “I love you. That’s why I did it. I’ve said my goodbyes, though I’ll see them again, and I’m ready to become immortal again. You can’t seem to grasp the fact that all this time we’ve been apart, I’ve loved no one else but you. All this happened because I love you. And Melete was right. We need to be together again. I don’t want us to be separated again.”

“I’ll admit I’ll miss having you around, but I won’t miss your sulking, Mneme. Gimme your scrolls, the both of you. You won’t need them anymore. Go and be together again,” Apollo said.

It felt weird handing over the little scroll. He’d carried it with him for so long, he’d almost become fond of it, even though he’d never had a need to use it. Jeff watched it vanish into thin air. Seeing Bev hand his over made it seem more real. This was it. They were finally freed from their work, free to be together again, as brothers and lovers, inseparable and complete once more.

Bev moved over beside Jeff and they watched as Roy began glowing with silver light, his powers returning to him in a rush of light. Jeff could feel the hole in his heart disappear. They were complete now. He brought Bev close, glad he had interfered as much as he had to bring them back together again.

Once Roy had stopped glowing, Jeff brought him into his arms and held him tight. There were no words for what they were feeling, and Roy just kissed him, glad he had made the right decision.

At some point, their bodies melted away. Shedding their corporeal forms, they returned to the air, to water and sound and voice, and disappeared.

“You know, I really am going to miss them,” Apollo said as he watched them disappear.

“I know you will. But hey, at least they’re all happy now,” Hermes said.

“I can’t believe you got Zeus to agree to this. You really are a genius,” Apollo said.

“He wanted to throw lightning bolts. I opted for wiser talents,” Hermes said simply and smiled.

* * *

Andrew and Charles were out on the back verandah, having some late drinks with Craig after a rather entertaining night out in which Andrew had done a most excellent performance of all the new songs he’d written to rapturous applause. He was glad he’d mostly left the bad shit behind, and things had never felt so good. With Craig and Charles to keep him going, he knew he’d be okay.

“Hey, can you see those lights over there by the back wall?” Andrew said, noticing three balls of light in the air, gold, yellow and silver. They were floating around, almost like fireflies, but they were too big for fireflies.

“Yes, yes I can. I wonder what’s causing them?” Charles said.

Craig squinted at them. “Is it just me, or are they coming closer?”

They were indeed coming closer. They travelled through the air towards them and circled them, still dancing about in the air happily. It wasn’t until Andrew heard a voice in his head that he knew what they were.

 _‘Thanks for all your help, kid. Maybe I’ll see you again one day,’_ came Jeff’s voice.

Andrew just smiled as he watched the lights flitter about a bit longer before they disappeared again. He didn’t bother telling Craig or Charles what they really were, and was content to be entertained by their crazy ideas about fairies and ball lightning and the possibility they might’ve been mutant fireflies.

It was only then that he remembered he still had Bev’s amulet in his pocket and he slipped it out, gazing at it fondly. He wasn’t sure it would still work, but he didn’t care. He’d keep it as a memento. He’d slip it under his pillow, a reminder of his shining star.


End file.
